In movies they are the butt of jokes.
In books they are ridiculed.
They always are being pranked and they're always so confused. Think of the Anne Shirley stories. Or even Catch Me If You Can.
Granted, in reality it cannot be anything like that. All the poor substitute drama is exaggerated for a laugh or two right?
If only...
I've substitute taught and to my horror all those silly (but dreadful) stories about substitutes are true.
Children may seem angelic from afar but don't let their sunny smiles fool you for a minute.
"Alright class!" I said after I briefly introduced myself, "why don't you all tell me your names."
They went around.
"Peter, Greg, Lucy, Carlie, Timmy, Meg, etc..."
Yet oddly enough, some of the names merited an eruption of giggles.
Oh well, we started the lesson. "Lucy, why don't you read -" The giggling now burst into a loud, reverberating laughter that filled the entire classroom.
"She's MEG." the girl I believed to be Meg stated.
"That's Lucy." Peter added, pointing to "Meg" who was actually Lucy.
Are. You. Kidding. Me. I thought these name games only happened in the movies.
"Oh you clever things," I said trying not to show my amusement and also not be too servere, "Alright well Lucy or Meg, I think you should read for us."
Lucy read laughing occasionally between words.
I then began writing on the board.
I wanted them to tell analyze parts of the story for a report. They offered me their insights and I wrote them on the board for us to discuss.
Peter starting dying of laughter then.
"Peter, what's so funny? Would you care to share with us?"
"WHY did you write FART on the board?"
Once again the laughter rang throughout the classroom.
I looked back at the board. The word was Faint. And if I may speak in my defense, it looked nothing like the word fart.
"It says faint, Peter."
"NO it doesn't."
"F-A-I-N-T. Don't tell me you forgot how to read, Peter!?" I said, hoping that it would encourage him to show off his reading skills and overcome his potty humor.
"It says Fart. FART. That is NOT an N. It looks like an R and I don't see an I."
I redid my N and and added a very ostentatious dot above my I. I was very pleased. It was now unmistakably the word FAINT.
"Miss," Meg raised her hand, "What is that awful splotch above the letters?" she was referring to my "I. "Is it the moon?"
So you see, people must love their substitute teachers because they truly bear the brunt of many, many jokes.
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